Tuesday, July 12, 2005

becoming rational about my fears

Have you ever wondered to what extent you can overcome any fears you have in your life? I have always been a fearful person, and I've recently figured out that in many ways I'm probably a lot more fearful than most. When I think about the things I've accomplished in my life, I've always connected overcoming fear to them, no matter what. Learning to drive? Had to overcome some fears. Earning a black belt? Dealt with other fears. Reassembling my life after my then-boyfriend realized that he was gay? Major fears were conquered there. Stayed in Mexico by myself for two weeks with a family that didn't speak much English? Yup, you got it...more fears resolved.

So is there a limit to what you can overcome? Or do new fears crop up later in life that are just harder to deal with? Or both? I find myself thinking about this as I consider how to pursue a career change and as I enter into a romantic relationship that is more serious. For both there are recurring fears that I keep running into, and right now I'm having trouble being able to tell whether or not those fears are good things or whether they are just blocking and limiting me. It kind of feels like I'm in a room, but I can't tell where the ceiling and floor are, everything is just spinning around me. I'm discombobulated.

And in this state I'd appreciate any good suggestions for reorienting myself that anyone out there might have.

2 comments:

Kieran Snyder said...

Most people's fears about careers and relationships are well-founded. Most of the time. About most careers and relationships. Except: what if they're not?

You have good instincts. Trust them. At least one of your instincts involves testing your limits.

Anonymous said...

When you get the spins, lay in bed, put your foot on the floor, and your hand on the wall. Make sure you've drunk enough water, take some aspirin, and close the blinds. Then get BACK in bed and reposition your foot and hand. And relax. Everything always turns outall right - doesn't it?